So I felt like doing a quick little update or whatever.  I have my education class discussion soon which actually isnt as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm hoping there will be a raid tonight since the rumor is there will be one this week and I have no wednesday class so it would be great tonight.  So I got a call yesterday from someone at Pearson Education and had my first phone interview for my internship which was pretty exciting.  I was fine with just temping for the summer but if I got an internship it would be even better.  Nothing to much is really going on except that I'm watching Lynne and Donnys kids from thursday to sunday which is good cuz I could really use the money although I'm probably gunna hafta have a personel board meeting for missing founders day/a house clean up but its  worth it even though I hate them.  Hopefully I'll have another update in a few days although no one is actually reading this lol

So yet another little update.  Umm on saturday steph and I went to worcester and she got her ear pierced and I got my tongue done.  Then of course this morning when I was sleeping I swallowed the top ball on my tongue ring so I went in today and they put in the smaller bar for me and all that good stuff.  At the moment I'm watching 20 most horrifying hollywood murders which is so creepy and yet so interesting at the same time.  Some I had never heard of before which is so weird like how did I not know Marvin Gaye was murdered? Or the whole thing with Phil spector and Lana..something.  It's crazy.  I can't believe I'm going back to school at the end of the month, its crazy and at the same time this time next year im gunna be pretty much done with school.  Its also weird that I'm gunna be 21 in like a few weeks. But it kinda sucks because initiation is that same day and it may sound selfish but I wanted to go out to the bars with my sisters and have my birthday be about me just like we do for everyone else and I dont get to have that and it really sucks.  Umm lets see what else is going on in life.  I am trying really hard to get an A in my online class so hopefully that works out.  And at the end of the month I'm redoing my hair yet again before I go back to school.  I also have to interview with the temp agency so I can work this summer but I have to wait cuz I still havent quite got used to my tongue ring so I sound a little stupid.  I havent gone to church at all since Ive been home which sucks and I know when I go back to bible study Im gunna lie and say I did.  I really like bible study its just that religion is different for me and church usually is not really my thing.  And I feel like chances are God understands that and that it is ok that I practice religion how I choose to.  And now that the show is back I think this will be all for now. 

Current Music: 20 most horrifying hollywood murders

 Alright so a quick little update.  I am up way to early because my parents have decided that I need to treat McChunk like a baby, which means I have to be up by 6:30 every morning to feed him and stuff.  I am def excited for school to be over, especially cuz of a little bit of unpleasantness which happened with a guy the last week of school.  But whatever turns out he's an asshole and I'm glad I found out earlier instead of later.  I am sooo excited for Christmas, although I know Christmas eve is gunna be kinda a downer.  I babysat yesterday and I hafta take Cassidy and Dylan for most of sunday.  I also have to go back to school next week to take an extra credit final.  Yesterday I went to the Natick mall or as it is now called the Natick collection.  I hafta admit I kind loved it.  I went to sephora and got some makeup although unfortunatley it costs a fortune and in Nordstroms I got to see th Miu Miu and Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks and they were like the best shoes ever.  I loved it.  Today I get to do some lovely errands, some banking, some Christmas shopping for McChunk etc.  Hopefully I'll be getting together with Manda soon since I havent seen her in forever annd I think thats about all for the moment.

Current Music: Sex and the City

I know I've been ignoring my journal royally but I'm gunna give it a try.  So I guess kinda alot has happened since I wrote last lol.  Umm the sorority is better.  It's never gunna be perfect, atleast not for me but things have been better there and I'm just kinda trying to take it as it comes.  School..has not been much better. I really thought that if I just decided to go back to how I used to be..I could simple as that, but it turns out its really not that easy.  When youve been spending a year never going to class, barely doing anywork and getting shit grades its hard to do a complete turn around.  I have tried, probably not as hard as I could have, but still I've tried and I mean I definitley think my grades will be an improvement over last semester, but not nearly as good as I'd like.  So I just had to switch computers cuz my charger broke, and this is probably the worst week for that to have happened.  Now I'm gunna hafta spend like 100 dollars to get one from radio shack, then reutrn it when my new one comes and the whole thing is just annoying and not good.  
         Let's see what else, me and guys have been...alright lol.  Ive had a few frat guy experiences which is kinda a given in sorority life, but unfortunatley frat guys are really undatable and there the only guys I ever meet so it sucks a little.  Ive been stressing out about my future alot lately.  Partly because I have no freaking clue what I wanna do with my future and what I'm gunna do after I graduate, at the moment I'm looking into PR.  Also theres a good chance I'm going to have to do an extra year of school which is gunna cost a ton.  Also everyones always asking if I have a boyfriend especially since in my moms family every woman is married, and usually young and in my dads only 2 women arent and they arent the happiest ever. So I'm not going back to school until tomorrow morning and then I'm home for break on thursday.  I just have to go back for like a night to take 2 finals and thats all.  McChunk is here for break which makes me soooo happy and Reva is here for the week because Martha is working long hours.  Thats all I can think of for now and my dad is calling me so hopefully I'll be posting again soon. 

Current Music: Holiday in Handcuffs

Well I havent updated in a while cuz Ive been tired from work, which is actually where I am right now but my boss aka aunt is at a meeting so I figured I could do a little update. I dont remember when I wrote something last soo I'll start with this weekend. The jamboree was alright, not the best but thats ok. On Friday my great aunt all of a sudden yelled down that I needed to go down to my grandmothers car, well turns out my grandfather had forgotten some stuff at their house so my grandmother was pissed and was gunna drive all the way back to get them. So I got stuck in the car for another 4 hours after I had already spent 3 getting up there and I missed swimming and everything else since we didnt get back until 8. But everyone told me how good I was, and my mom told my aunt it was not ok for her to make me do that. Then saturday was the 4 mile race which was paaaainful and which I never wanna do again. And then the day was good except saturday night I felt really upset and I'm not sure why. I tried to tell my parents but they werent listening, prob from drinking, which kinda bugged me cuz part of this whole therapy thing(which is pointless since I just play cards with the lady for 20 minutes but thats another story) is that there supposed to listen to me when I want to talk and not just ignore it. But I went and just laid in my tent with McChunk instead and ended up falling asleep. The next day I felt fine and I brought it up to my parents and they both hadnt even realized what was going on and apologized. Then yesterday I worked 8 hours so I didnt get home until almost 8 and now I'm back to work today. It feels good to finally have money of my own again and I kinda like having a schedule and stuff. Hopefully I'm not working tomorrow cuz its the start of the sidewalk sales in newburyport and I kinda want to go but if I can't its not a big deal. I cant wait until next week cuz I'm going up to Baltimore even though driving there is gunna suck. O also I might be meeting so guy soon with manda that I should remember from like middle school or something but I dont only the name sooo it should be interesting. And I might be getting McChunk back soon. yay!

So I'll just do a quick update, I have a cyst which I'm on antibiotics for and it sucks and I'm probably going to have to have it surgically removed which seriosuly blows.  I also need this stuff to fix my scalp before I can dye my hair again but everytime I go to cvs they dont have it.  I'm starting work for my aunt tomorrow in boston doing some filing and billing and stuff, and im taking the T for the first time so that'll be interesting.  Last night sucked cuz theres this guy I kinda like and a friend and I went over there to see him and his friends and I told her beforehand that I was interested him but she said she misunderstood but whatever so I spent the nigh t watching them flirt and w/e and it really sucked but I'll get over it in a few days it just kinda hurt and it was yet another guy were things didnt go right.  I'm starting to get used to that though.  Thursday I'm taking the dogs to the groomers and then on Friday my families leaving for jamboree which will be fun except for the fact that I'm officially the oldest one not dating someone and bringing them to this so I know I'll get asked about it and I really dont wanna do the stupid 4 mile race.  Well now I should probably get some sleep before work so thats about it.

Alright, so first off i cheated and I ended up downloading the leaked harry potter 7 book off the internet today so I've been reading it a day early which means I am up way to late.  But reading it has actually just kinda been ruined for me because Perkins and yea i dont care im gunna use his stupid name imed me accusing me of the fact that I was talking shit about him and I was like umm I find that hard to believe especially cuz I hang out with like 2 people from high school and neither of them talks to Perkins.  Well last month i went to a little party type thing at jen astrellas and someone mentioned perkins was in rehab which I knew and which he wasnt that secretive about and I said i didnt think it would help much if he kept up with his current patterns and went back to school and got caught up in the same flow of activity.  And then someone else pretty much made fun of him and tooled on him saying he was just going to rehab for attention and w/e.   Well apparently this person told him that I was talking all this shit that he said was me and hurtful...but refused to tell me what it was and he kept saying i was lying since i was like o it was like 2 months ago i was at jen's and he was like i was in school then and i was like sorry a month my bad, like who doesnt screw up the months sometimes? i dont keep a calander of everything i do in my head.  So it pisses me off that this bitch decided to like randomly make up a bunch of shit I said and he believed her since she seems to be friends with everyone which i guess u have time for when u do nothing but sit on ur ass and smoke pot and kill your hair.  And my main point in  this is that I told Perkins that if he believed it than fine then we could just stop talking cuz im over High school its been TWO YEARS people, like im gunna be a junior in college, high school bullshit is over and since i didnt like most of you back then, do u really think im gunna like u that much more now? O and PErkins also said he was doing soooo much better than me in life so I shouldnt talk but he couldnt tell me how cuz he didnt wanna be mean and make fun of me, so my guess was he was gunna go with your fat and ugly and everyone hated you in highschool, since ive never had a drug or alcohol problem and to that I just have to say I don't fucking care lol.  Like seriosuly some people look forward to there 5 year reunions and stuff and im kinda like why would i choose to be in a room with all those people again some of whom have mad me feel like absolute shit over the years something which haha i later found out ended up seriosuly damaging me emotionally which im still trying to sort out.  I may take this down later but I feel like some of the people who read this, ok like the 2 people who do might kinda understand where im coming from.  And ill probably rwrite a real entry later.


O and shout out to Sigma the puuuuppy

Current Mood: pissed off

Well at the moment I should be doing my school work but I am not.  I'm so frustrated lately.  I'll stare at assignments that would normally take me an hour or 2 and there taking me all day because I just can't seem to focus or process anything.  It's driving me nuts and giving me wicked headaches on top of it.  At the moment I'm making muffins cuz lately I've been having a huge muffin/cakish craving so I atleast justified it by telling myself then the boys will have something to eat for breakfast in the morning while i'm at the dermatologist.  Which I am so not excited about going to because I have to have him look at an area that I would rather not be showing to like anyone but it has to be done.  Then I'm going to attempt to get a few job applications because I know it would make my mom happy and then babysitting at 5:30 which  I'm actually excited about.  Although I'm obviosuly dreading trying to get all my work done by midnight tomorrow even though I know I will and I'm still praying I somehow manage to get a b-.  I also have to remember to call Tatiana tomorrow because I want to go up to Amherst to visit her on Friday.  O the Harry Potter movie was good although there were some parts that they left out that I wish they hadnt but o well.  Oh and on the way in some little 16 year old bitches made a comment about my boobs and I just flipped them off but I really wish i had told them off cuz im sick of people like that.  My body is something I cant help and that im learning to accept and if people dont have anything nice to say they should just fuck off. I'm excited to get to actually buy my cosmo magazine soon lol since i figured i should wait until after my assignments were done because I knew reading the magazine would obviosuly be a distraction. This is all I can think of but I'm sure theres more.

Well I figured I should atleast try to start this new semi secret journal lol. So first off I still havent found a job although to be honest I'm not that motivated even though I know I need the money.  I'm going to have to find a job as soon as I get to school.  Im actually really nervous about going back to school and back to the sorority considering how things have gone.  But i also really wanna get my grades up so I can apply to do the spring in nyc program because Ive wanted to try living in NYC for a while now.  I havent really seen many people over the summer.  I've tried to see Steph but it hasnt really worked out and she's usually with Ben.  Ive seen manda and hopefully im gunna see her soon and meet her puppy Sigma.  Jaimie and i have hung out a few times with her friend rebecca which has been really good.  Im taking an online class and its going ok but im pissed cuz im probably gunna get a c which means i'll hafta pay for it myself which sucks cuz as usual I know I could of done better and for some reason ive had alot of trouble caring and motivating myself.  I had to go see the dentist aka satan for x-rays today and a cleaning tomorrow which I absolutley dread.  And then Thursday its off to the dermatologist at 8:55 in the morning which is waaay earlier than I'm usually up but o well.  Tongith Doyle and I are going to see HArry Potter at midnight which im pretty excited about but dont worry we arent one of those weirdo type people who dress up and stuff...but we do tend to laugh at them behind there backs.  Sometimes you hafta draw the line between fantasy and reality.  Most of my plan for today invovles probably going to CVS to possibly get a few beautyish products and of course Cosmo aka like my bible(Josiah would kill me for comparing Cosmo to the bible lol) and then of course getting all cute for the movie cuz if I look good I'll see no one I know but if I look like crap then I'll see a ton of people I know. I also need to call tatiana so I can go see my beautiful, one week old today, nephew who i am sooo excited to go see.  I think that will be all for this entry...let's see if I write again tomorrow.